Goodnight...

It's happening again... 
The weird dreams.
I can't remember if they were during or after or before the last time.
However, one cannot deny, well, I cannot deny that the feelings are back, the thoughts, the images. 
Those damn fucking images.....
A rope and a chair.
A gun in the mouth.
The funeral.
Here they are again, saying HELLO.
Well, hell-fucking-o again to you old friend. Why are you here? Why did you come back? And most importantly, when are you leaving? Can you leave before I do something stupid again, because I was really liking your vacancy in my brain, I will not lie to you. We have been through so much.
But, I must ask. Why me? Why now? 
Who will be here to stop me? Who will be here to save me? 
Stop Megan stop.
Don't tell it all your secrets. Don't let him know what he shouldn't know.
I don't wanna do this all again...
I don't. I can't.
I'm not strong enough.