Tread on water, treat her with respect.

Sweet Caroline, good times never felt so good. I really like starting my blog posts with lyrics from the song I am listening too, or naming my blog post that. 

I have to say, it made me realize that is wasn't how I imagined it, and I don't think yours was either. I wanna recreate that with you, but how do you do something like that without overstepping, since it took place with you. I don't know how to do it, but it seems romantic to me. I wanna suggest it, but am afraid of hurting your feelings. I realize now that I wasn't what I said I was; I just said it. I never thought about it really, and it's not so much a big deal since I didn't get hurt like you might have. What to do, what to do?

The Moral of the Story is You Can't Trust the System

Not gonna lie, I feel pretty chill today, creative too. I like Saturdays. So many things to throw on the ground. I'M AN ADULT. Maybe this is why I am so cool with shit today. Nostalgia mixed with humor.

Be my friend, Help.

Seventeen, the hot July moon, saw everything.
I am not sure what I wanna do with my life. It that bad? I am almost twenty years old, shouldn't at this point I have this all figured out? Well, at least I should have to since I have my whole college paid for. I don't wanna make any mistakes. I don't wanna go into almost fifty thousand in debt. Rather, I want to one day give my children what I never had. Then again, I don't even know if I want children. Roscoe is a handful and a half, and he pisses me off, a lot. Could I handle that with a human? And to think I wanted twins! Maybe it is different if you house them in your body for nine months. It's not that I don't love Roscoe or love the idea of having children, it is my patience that doesn't. Maybe that is what I should Google next time I am over that way; patience building techniques.

Don't know why, White Liar

It's a musical kind of day. I thought today was going to be bad, but it looks like I judged too quickly. However, my wisdom teeth are really kicking me today, so that could be better. Yet, it looks like everything is going to work out well. I am really excited about the rest of my life. First semester is over, and then I will work towards graduation, which is going to come too soon. Things have went better than I expected in some aspects. Steven found a job right away, I am still best friends with my best friend, I have seen my family, Jaxzin is awesome, and everything has fallen into place quite beautifully. I am not feel like I belong at Purdue socially, but one thing is for sure; God wants me here for the plan He has set out for me. Life is beautiful.

College..

First semester is almost done... Time flies :( and I cannot help but feel I have not accomplished anything. I am worried about grades, not having crap for a resume once I leave college... Then what? I wish I could stay in school forever, get paid to do it. Now is the time they say what you do matters the most, and with me feeling like I have done nothing, well. This could cause me some problems.. I need to be a better student. I need to go to my classes, study, do my homework to learn something from it, not just to get it done. Shit is important, and I need to take things more seriously. This is my life. So, I think I will make that part of my New Years Resolution. Resolutions I should say. I need a fire lit under my ass. I need to start doing what I say I am going to do, start taking care of things better. Yeah, I think I will.

Please look up

God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt. Things are looking up! I'm gonna be a sibling again, and everything is calm. Maybe it's the holidays? Things just feel right today. Shit has happened, but it's not a shitty mood. I don't really feel like writing.

Sigh

I find myself coming to you only when I am down. A month has went by, so things must not be that bad, but a month flashes past in a blink of a damn eye. I feel like making this post angry, cuss word laden, but what would that do? Nothing. What will this post do? Nothing as well. Oh well. I'd rather let it lie here then ferment in my brain. I don't even feel like explaining anything here. I know what is wrong today. What really is wrong today? Just annoyed I guess. I am tired of being annoyed, but mostly I am tired. I don't even do anything. What am I even doing? Why am I writing out the argument my brain is having on this computer? Fuck it.